World AIDS Day 2008 : Social Club for HIV Positive in Nairobi

Posted on 1 December 2008. Filed under: MDGs, Public Health |


Photo: Glenna Gordon/IRIN
Wakesho’s events provide entertainment and allow HIV-positive people to socialise

NAIROBI, 1 December 2008 (PlusNews) – The party at a popular restaurant in Nairobi, the Kenyan capital, looks ordinary, but the people attending it – all of whom are HIV-positive – are enjoying a rare opportunity to socialise without feeling like an outsider.

The young men and women spent the afternoon relaxing and getting to know each other; by the end of the evening new friends had been made, phone numbers exchanged and there were plans to meet again.

“It makes life much easier when everyone at a social gathering knows that you are positive and doesn’t judge you for it,” said Frank*, a member of the Stacy Care Foundation, which organises events exclusively for people living with HIV.

The social club is first of its kind in Kenya. “Since I discovered my status, it has been really hard to go out and make friends, because you are always keeping this big secret,” he said.

Stacy Wakesho, who set up the foundation three years ago, was running a tour business specialising in travel packages for groups of single people when she got a phone call from a young man asking her to arrange an event for HIV-positive people.

“That phone call was a revelation for me – I had never thought about how single people living with HIV socialise or date,” she told IRIN/PlusNews. “When I placed my first ads in the paper six months later, the response was unbelievable. Most HIV[-positive] people are afraid of infecting HIV-negative people, so their consciences won’t allow them to date normally.”

More than 1,000 HIV-positive people have registered since the club started. “The members are mostly young and single, although some are widowed or divorced,” she said. They can also afford the one-time 1,000 shilling (US$13) registration fee and the additional charges for every event.

The club makes it possible for HIV-positive people to meet friends, and men and women to get to know each other in a “natural” environment. “I don’t believe in setting strangers up; people come to our parties and if they like each other and want to form romantic friendships, they do so without interference from me,” Wakesho said.

The greatest benefit of the club is providing comfortable, safe spaces where HIV-positive people can meet. Frank, who has been a member for two years, said the club had transformed his social life. “I have met lots of men and women, many of whom have become firm friends. Recently I met a very special lady through the club; I think our relationship may get to the next level soon.”

Because of the likelihood of sexual relationships developing, Wakesho frequently brings in counsellors to talk to club members. The NGO, Family Health International, through its Gold Star Network, has partnered with the Stacy Care Foundation to give reproductive health advice to couples.

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“We find that men are usually keen to have sex earlier, even without protection, so usually the women are advised to take control of protection to prevent reinfection, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections,” Wakesho said.

Although club events provide a temporary escape from the secrecy most HIV-positive people live with, stigma and fear still affect relationships; many couples who had met through the club were cohabiting, but most had stopped short of getting married.

“They have fear, they don’t know what the future holds – they don’t want to take the responsibility of caring for another person whose health is uncertain when their own health is not guaranteed,” she said.

“I have met someone really nice, we have a great relationship,” said Anne*, who joined in 2007. “I have told my sisters about my status; they know I met a man through the club, but he has never told anyone and refuses to meet my family because he fears they may not accept him, or they may tell other people his status.”

Despite these difficulties, she has no regrets about joining. “It is easier than dating someone who is HIV-negative,” she said. “We share so much more, and we can be free with each other.”

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130 Responses to “World AIDS Day 2008 : Social Club for HIV Positive in Nairobi”

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theres really no huge divide between persons living with HIV and those without! I laud the club but hope that there may be more interaction between the two and less stigma

Hi Stacy. I have want to join this club…..may i have yo phone numbers or email address?

Asali133.

Asali 133, herein please find contact details and more details:

STACY CARE FOUNDATION (SCF) a club for single men and women who are HIV-positive, whether single, never married, widowed, separated or divorced.

Join the club for HIV-positive singles and find a partner/companion and fight the stigma and loneliness.

Old members to pay Sh600 and new members Sh1,200. Call Stacy to be advised on accessibility and other details on 0734-732276 or 0712-506281 or 020-8000864 or e-mail stacycares@swiftkenya.com.

Good luck Let us know how it goes!!!

Well done Stacey, keep me posted

Living with HV IS Very challenging. I was recently rejected by a man we have had a relationship with for four years. He was due to come home in mid July 2009. We had neber had sex but I knew that it was inevitable when he would be home. I made it my responsibility to tell him of my status so that we could use protection. He came and we had a wonderful sexual experience with condoms for two days. Then he promised we were to meet again but he went underground and so far has gone back to the US.I felt rejected and lonely.It is a big challenge. I know look forward to join the club even though I am out of Kenya.

Hi Awuor, saw your msg n thought we shd link up. My e-ad is jmurrende@yahoo.com

i would wish to know when your next meeting is so that i can attend

Any upcoming evens (soon)

when is ur next event ,i want to join in as a member

AM 33YEARS I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN THE CLUB,WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED IN MOMBASA.

at times one gets so lonely the club was a very noble idea where are your offices am sure many people would like to join only they do not know how

i have completed a counselling course and my biggest concert is stigma to people living positive have a job but if promised to touch somebody will be more than willing could we join hands in any way???ANONYMOUS

hi im very intrested in the hiv positive events in kenya and how i can get to be a member of the club

hi,iam a kenyan aged 39,i would like to join the club and socialise with and more to have a girlfriend.I am living positive and i need a companion with someone with the same stutus.Who is read to be loved and love in return.pLEASE NO JOKES.

Hamisi,r u still searching.im 28 living postively and would like to hook up with a serious man of same status.any1 serious out there?

Hi,i am anxiously waiting for the Kisumu meet this Labour Day. I am a35 year old mother of a lovely 3 year old gal and i have been very lonely ever since her father rejected me when we turned discordant.Today i stand proud and tall coz i knopw am beautiful within and without.Thank you so much Stacy

I think POSITIVE SINGLES DATING KENYA page on facebook is worthwhile, know some couples who met there

All about banks – Converse county bank and much more.

i wish to join

hey stacy, am 33yrs old, i’m delighted with what you are doing to the society. living with HIV is a big challenge to most of the most of the pple mostly youth.where are you located either at kisii or MSA.

I WISH TO JOIN THE CLUB

I would like to join the club,am 33yrs single mum of one.am in nakuru.

Am happy 2 read from u Stacy,i tested + last month,am a 4rd year student at UON.AM 25 n i rily nid a gal 2 huk up wit

HI Edwin,where are you from?iv seen your message that u want to hook up so i wana know where youre from because i would also like tohook up

please tel me where ur located n how much iz the registration

i am a single 2o year old girl living with a positive life,i would like to meet a guy aged 24_28 who is also positive and living in S.A

i am a single 2o year old girl living a positive life,i would like to meet a guy aged 24_28 who is also positive and living in S.A

Jazz is my name and i am 28yrs.my wish is to get an hiv + man for marriage.i am living positively.

hi Jazz,am Tom also living positively n would like to know the kind of man u would like getting involved with,am 34 principled n conscious with a good sense of humor,if interested we can chat n know each other more

hi tom can we chat sometime

hi iam 24years and living positive as been a challenge i need a handsome .responsible man for marriage and to live happy with.to love me as i will love him.be stable and living in nairobi preferably.a christian and mature.a serious guare you mine reach me makmer86@aol.com

hi i am 24years lady and living positive as been a challenge i need a handsome .responsible man for marriage and to live happy with.to love me as i will love him.be stable and living in nairobi preferably.a christian and mature.a serious guy are you mine reach me makmer86@aol.com

am pstve nd i wnt to join.am 22 nd cute.i wnt a handsome guy btwn 24 nd 28.

hi,
am 30 year old pretty single mum to a handsome boy, living in nbi & working in nbi .am interested in meeting a serious guy 32-42 years old ,financially stable ,loving with a good sense of humour, send me a line ;tatiana.akinyi@yahoo.com

A very noble job keep it up!words can`t explain well what you`re doing to this dear ones.

Please help me get Stacey’s number.thnx.i want to join the club,am 22 nd wnt a hukup with a guy btwn 25-28yrz.

This is nice after reading the profile on the website,am preparing to visit the 1st get together scheduled for 7th this month of April in Nairobi-am a new memeber though but willing to try it and see for myself.

Thanks,

Am 35 single positive lady i wish to meet a single man of the same status

Please help me with Stacey’s number via my e-mail.thank you.

Hi am so delighted by this information am positve single lady 35 and wish to meet a mature positive responsible single man above 35 my email is nexa2011@yahoo.com

Hi i am a positive living Mum recently widowed and would like to connect to pple with same status as mine…pls let me know how i can go about this….

iam in mombasa and iam positive please email me on when the event will happen of positive singles meeting

am 31 very hardworking and am proud of my status i.e positive and looking for a positive man serious for marriage. please email me if you are interested and if you are christian and born again

hi stacy when will be the next meeting am ready to join the club as from next year 2012 co3 i want to find a serious partner who is positive and employed to settle together in life

happy new year stacy and all members am eagerly waiting for next meeting hping that God’s favor and grace will be upon us all this year of 2012 my email address is lilyyego55@yahoo.com

hi am tatiana, hiv+,am looking for a serious relationship,

Tatiana,am 34 and positive.Looking for a lady of the same status,can we chat?

Stacy…does this foundation really exist.??i have written many mails but no reply for any one of them,…..and i can see the same might be the case with the other guys…Whats up??

The next meeting will be on 4th February 2012 from 1pm to 2pm at garden square. I am told there are no registration charges this year but members should come with some little money for ta project ahead.

am aged 35yrs hiv positive & i like to be present in the next meeting to chat with members of stacy club. thanks stacy for this club co3 we shall be able to socialize and talk freely without fear and stigma God bless you so much. meet you in next meeting in mombasa.

Hye Tonny,m Joan living positively 30 and single,if still single we can hook up and share,my email:cbetter2012@yahoo.com

Thanx Joan,i just mailed you.Lovely day

Am Tonny,34,single dad and living positive.Life is abit tough without someone who understands what you are going through.Am looking for a lady of the same status between 27-31 yrs With 1 or no child

Hey ru stl single pls call 0711325280….
If ur readyto settle i hav a son aged 9yrs n feeling lonely nd someone……31 positive bt God fearing

I am Kate, 35yrs old and a mother of two boys.
Looking for a serious,and loving man of the same status for a romantic relationship.
barasa26@gmail.com

hi kate u kan contact me on 0774309204

I am a single mum of 2 living positively; 32yrs. I wld like 2 meet a serious man 2 share my life with; penny@yahoo.com

Hi penny, still single? Am single dad of 2.my no’ 0722998499

Congrats Stacy and keep up the faith. I joined SCF this year and I had a great experience. People get to share and you get to see that you are not alone. Those who are feeling low, rejected, lonely should embrace the idea of joining Stacy so that you can be able to build your positive strength; also when you share, at least you feel light. I met several friends and am in contact with them. Its really a great experience and I encourage you who is reading this and you are affected to join by emailing Stacy and she will advice you on the next meeting. Kudos SCF

A positive man aged 37 to 50 who is willing to settle down despite the challenges and have a family, a positive thinker who believes that anything is possible when two heads are joined as one. Happy thinking and wise decision making as you join Stacy Care Foundation

This site i great i’d love to meet someone here

Hey Stacy and to all people out there who are willing to live a wonderful life despite the challenges congratulations and keep up the good work.Am a young widow and would like to have awoman friend whom I can chat,.. share every challenges together and guide each other like sisters.Someone with apositive mind and willingy to live a normal life.
Nads

Hi Nads,
I am Ruks,i dont mind having a friend to share and laugh….lets share…jst like a sister…

Hi; I am 44 yrs old, recently lost my wife.
The sudden demise has left extremely shattered and lonely. When and where will the next meeting be?

Hi John,am Ruks i also lost my hubby 2yrs ago and concur with what u are sayig.Am not sure if this club really exist as am yet to get a reply.Maybe we cld share experieces.

Hi am Lilian please contact me using +255766076250.

am 30 yrs old and living +vely. i would like to hook up with a man ready for marriage.

33 here, degreed, looking for ltr with a poz woman. contact me at treybronz@gmail.com

Hi guys tasha here 32 ,living +vely single mom to a son ,living in nbi interested in meeting guyz of similar status 32 to 42 financially stable open minded outgoing with a sense of humour .lets chat on tasha4167@gmail.com

My name is John Ochieng am 24yrs old,found out am positive two months ago,and i believe its time for my life to go on so am just looking for someone to share my life with,20 to 24 years living positively and healthy and intellectual someone we can also share ideas.I am living positive healthy life life plus i am handsome living in nairobi.If you are serious i’ll send my number and private email address to you.Thanks.

Knock knock…….am a +ve 35 yr old lady looking for a companion someone ready to settle down, serious, respectable, financial stable, hardworker, supportive, understanding and willing to experience life despite the challenges we’ve faced. Cheers

Im 20 yrz doing a law degree.. im hardworking, very ambitious, love having fun, im responsible and in good health though positive.. i would love to meet a humble, healthy and beautiful girl of same status in nairobi for friendship and hopefuly smthng more..height shld be between 5.2-5.3….u can kall or text on 0774309204..

Hi, really need to join, am 38, never married, from ksm but living in Nairobi.it looks like a good gathering to meet someone special

hi, am 38yrs, male in Nairobi. from nyanza.would like to meet a lady of the same status. 25-35. zx27us@yahoo.com

Add me up looking to make new friends : )

hi am john 37yrs old ad positive looking for a woman age from 28 to 40 yrs who is serious for marriage..pls call me if ur the one…0733918659..i believe talking on phone is the best way..

HI John… Am also looking for friends may be you may add me up on your list : )

Hi!am Essy,27 years old HIV Positive and living Positively.would like a guy aged 30-35 years for companionship n if God wills marriage later on.i have one kid.

Hi you all, am 34year a mother of one 15yr old boy and an expectant mother come early 2013. l knew of my status after l got pregnant since then it been a trying time for me to mingle up with other people am looking out to get new friends we can get to share stuff and you just never know…… l would really like to come for the get together if it truly exists…. Hug to you all

Hae can we be friends,am singlemum of one.ryanne46@yahoo.com

stacey care is a FRAUD FRAUD FRAUD!!!!!!!!!!!!FRAUD!! I went to one meeting and she only wants ur money!u pay five hundred she keps on telling you to go to a lady pastor in kayole who will foretell ur future kumbe shes written down ur details so when you go to the pastors she pretends shes seen a viosion of you!!!!!!FRAUD FRAUD! go at ur own risk.Shhe is proud and so full of herself my contacts are hawamark86@gmail.com im a single woman and searching for a tall handsome guy preferably from central or coast regions

I support you,i wonder why stacy asks for someone passport then she pretends to be saved.she is taking advantage.nkt

True….i think we shld all start a club of our own or a dating site,we already have a big enaf group and not charge anything…or an FB page where we can all share our experiences and probably meet someone and not charge a dime….what say u!

True i have paid 4 much yet havent met even a friend leave alone a man whom i can share with my experiences.i hate it! Lets start a group and make ends meet.people have taken advantage of hiv +pple yet we need love n understanding.

if ur 20-35 queen,kind,loving,GODly an poz+ ready for marriage,pkutti@hotmail.com in his early forties from western is waitng for u.thanx

Hi fellow humans. Am Trey, Kikuyu, single, fun to be around, and looking for both male and female friendships. I prefer to not hear/dwell on sob stories, but rather make friends with strong individuals. Ethnicity and age not an issue, but not too old. 0725056819.

I think POSITIVE SINGLES DATING KANYA page on facebook is worthwhile I know some couples who met there

i am single aged 39 yrs . i separated with my wife and i need to move on. i need a lady 30 to 35

Hae am 35,0721403488

CONTACT SELWYN on samsel96@yahoo.com

Any singledad in nakuru,please write to me anneribui@gmail.

I think this is great instead on relying on some external cons. On this page people can get to know each other, exchange contacts and later meet rather that wait for someone to organize a bash..

this stacey woman is a fake!!!a con artist just playing with your minds and money,i went to one of those fake meetings and she kept telling us to go to some woman in kayole and pay her to pray for us cz she can see our future husbands/wife dont fall for it

hi im hawa,in my late twenties with one kid, looks for a man tall nyce body charming and very stable cz i am,hawamark86@gmail.com halla

I am very discouraged to hear that Stacy Foundation is a fraud, I have been building up courage to join it for some time now and I thought it would be a great place to socialize and hopefully meet the right guy. I am 33(still can’t believe that age) lady single, believes in living life, with one child living and working in Nairobi. I am independent but would love a guy who would who would show me how to be dependent. sellanyan@gmail.com. Ooh and I am positive,…I keep forgeting that part!

Any singledad in nakuru,0721403488

hi my fellow God’s people. Am susan and am soo disappointed by wwhat ave just read of ur exprnc with this Stacy thing.Av been thinking on coming to join but now as u av suggested, lets interact on the cite and plan our own things. Well lets leave that for now. +ve single mum of One boy age 38yrs if there …..lets chat and who knows

Hi onces again Its susan. I thought may be thrs is something interesting to share…………..aaaahhhaa …olloo. get in tourch 0752202286. Cheers guys.

iam 36 years old looking for aserious woman who ia ready to start afamily hiv+ am kisii/masaai anyone who is intrested

you cam get in touch also through my number 0733200968 monari ole amiah

Woi woi!!! guys am shocked to hear from you guys that Stacy is a fraud. I wanted to join to day. That is bad and serious especially for positive people like us

Am Njeri aged 37 years with no child, looking for a man who is positive he should be from 38years to 45 years my email is karogodw@yahoo.com.

This is great.am a counselor trainer and hiv positive.its been so hard to share n be in a relationship bcoz of my work.pls how can i meet with your officials and talk to them before i join the club.am really interested coz i need s friend who will lovr me n not judge mr.am a widow for 7years now.

Hi am 25years old saved christian lady looking for a stable guy age 30-35 of hiv positive christian as well living n nairobi.He should be loving and caring because I am I believe so.Thank you.God bless you.

send me an email on catherinecate13@gmail.com if ur cirias and i wil cal u

Hi, are you in nakuru?i would like to join the club

I am in Nakuru n am realy lonely I would like to meet pther positive single for support,friendship,dating n even marriage if its possible. I wana have kids someday…. I long to b a wife n mother… Am 25. Can I find a group in Nakuru.

I am of the same status can we be friends

Am in mombasaa would love to know when will the next event be ? Where? Ans what are
Your charges .

hi bet am sire also in mombasa

my mobile number is 0739177066

I think its good for stacy to open branches & ask those who are willing to be leaders to volunteer. all counties in Kenya to encourage publicity &discourage silence in the society. God bless u members and give u good health throughout your lives.

Im a guy 20,wanna gal 19-20 coast

Not it! I nid a gal 19-23 in mombasa

any single guy in mombasa….35 and above

I think POSITIVE SINGLES DATING KANYA page on facebook is worthwhile I know some couples who met there

hy guys i am hvpoztv 35 years very beatifully stylish seeking a white man from 40 to 56 years kindly call me 0705810922 finacialy stable must know how to treat a lady well romantic and definetly sexual encounter relationship .

hae,am 26 +ve guy living n working in nairobi i wld luv to meet a lady of th same status for luv n sharing,hit me up at reahil@mail.com

Wont mind

am a lady aged 40yrs widowed have a son,would love to meet a serious man who is widowed or single above 40yrs and see how it goes..

Am a lady, 24 yrs old with a 3 month old baby boy.am single,employed and hiv+.i would like to join the club because am looking for a hiv positive partner.plz gt bak to me if posibble.thanks

I would like to join and get connected with people living with Hiv +like me also looking for a serious. man to settle in marriage

Hey am 26years old single living positive.am looking for a serious Christian man aged btwn 30 to 40 years for a serious relationship. You can contact me through bitoakinyi@gmail.com no jokes ples

I want to join club am 33yrs searching serious man to settled 35n above yrs ..njerin47@yahoo.com in FB.

Hey,am Fron Nyanza,am Of The Same Status + Am Kidded With 2 Shees,aged 17,n,13,itested + In 2008 After We Separated With My X Husband,now Ihave Been Single 4 All This Long Beiing Afraid,and Stressed Of My Status,bt Now Here Ifound That,there Are Some People Out There Like Me,who Needs Love,and 2 B Loved Again,n,am One Of Them,wea U,ineed Alife Tyme Companion,aged 45, to, 60,am 39,.Postive People 2, Needs Love,n 2, B, Loved 2!

wow….am 23 lady in nyanza working….looking forward to find a spouse to settle down with

Hi my name is Lilian from Arusha, Tanzania am looking to meet someone with the same status as me. I am 37 years old and the guy should be from 40 years onwards. My whatsapp number is +255766076250.

Thanks, looking forward to it.


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